Benny’s Story

My name is Benny Howes. (crowd says… “Hi Benny”)

High Five... Put'er there!

High Five… Put’er there!

My life has been nothing short of “Miraculous” and I’m grateful for every challenge and hardship I’ve experienced in my short Life. I come to believe our Challenge is like a really well wrapped Christmas Gift, very secure under layers of tissue, wrapping paper and tape… lots of tape. The faster you try to open it, the tougher it seems… but if you’re patient, you’ll get through the layers and reach the brand new value pack of underwear Mom got you for Christmas… Patience child, Fruit of the Loom isn’t goin’ anywhere. Lol anyway… I hope by reading my story, you will see the value in your circumstances and find the inspiration to unwrap the gifts life has for you.

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In 1974, I was born in Bremerton, WA, placed into a foster home at 3 days old, then adopted at the age of 8 months.  My mom was only 15 and my dad was 18. I’ve yet to meet them but I feel I will and the timing will be perfect. (I actually wrote this December 30th of 2010, I’ve since met my parents… read about my reunion here)

I was adopted, an only child and grew up in the ‘typical’ family structure. When I say typical, I mean it was filled with challenge and undiscovered opportunities to heal and move forward in life. In my house, the opportunities to heal were covered up by alcohol and repressed emotional pain. It wasn’t too different from many people I know. Others may simply call it a broken home, but it was all I knew… But I wanted to fix it. I loved my family and I never understood why no one really talked. It got tough.

I think if families don’t find the way to move forward, they move out instead. My parents split up when I was about 12. My Dad took a job transfer and moved about 5 hours away.  I didn’t see him much but he did his best to come to my Sports events to show me support… He sure put some miles on that Nissan Sentra. That was his way of showing love. My Mom worked a lot, and didn’t really have enough energy for herself, let alone to for me. I have to commend her, for everything she had on her plate, she did good. I’m not mad anymore, how could I be? It’s just where we were.

As a young adult, found myself married with a family of my own, with absolutely NO CLUE how to make it work.

A little help here Please…God, anyone?

Starting in 2000, shortly after my youngest son Jordan was born. I had some experiences that made me take a look at my life much deeper. So I asked God to show me the “Truth”. I wanted real, unbiased, how does this world work, TRUTH.

I won’t say I made “quick” work of it though. First I had to ‘detox’ from so much of the programming I had mashed into my brain as a young person. It took about 8 years of research and life experiences for me to finally get out of my way and begin to “get it”. I really wanted to know though so I researched Religions, Philosophies, Politics, Athletics, Science, Medicine and Music. These topics have taught me more than any “formal” education ever could have. I probably only say that because I didn’t finish college. Just kiddin’.

ben's before front

233 pounds of Burnin’ Love

In 2004, I got about as far away from my best life as I could, really far… check out the picture. And if you’re wondering, yes, one of my legs is shorter than the other. 😉

During my experience with Stage 4 Kidney Failure, I learned my first major “Truth”.

Those might be the Facts But, the Truth is, Any condition can change.

I’m only 5’7″ but, by my early thirties, I found my self at a whopping 233 pounds and was named the winner of failing Kidneys. I didn’t know I entered a contest, They told me I could choose between a lifetime of Dialysis or get on the transplant list. I believe I heard from God that day so I asked for a third option… Healing. They didn’t agree with me so I agreed to let them put me on the transplant list in case “I changed my mind”. Read about my AHA moment that led to my healing here.

Good Friday that Spring, my Hero of a wife Diana got the call from my ‘Kidney Doctor’… After thinking she may be actually killing me, My Doctor pronounced my Kidneys 100% Healed. My Doctor called us with the Good News on Good Friday in 2005. Boy was Diana Relieved.

I was the only patient in his 25 year career he had the pleasure telling “Your Kidneys are Healed”.

I wasn’t done transforming my body yet, Read about my other Physical Healings Here

Here were some of my “Facts” that ran my life… I’m not saying all of these are healed in my life yet, but some of these were ways I misunderstood my life experience. Things I believed…

  • Life is Hard.
  • Money is hard to come by.
  • I’m not good enough for that.
  • I’m not smart enough for that.
  • They won’t pick me, I don’t have a college degree.
  • I keep getting passed up for promotions at work.
  • I’m on a Kidney transplant list.
  • I have to sleep with a mask on my face so I can breath.
  • I’m allergic to every meat except Beef, Pork and Trout… Have you ever tasted Trout?… Ugh.
  • I don’t feel supported in what I want to do with my life.
  • I’m not a good dad or husband.

These weren’t actually “TRUE” but, I truly believed these things… and since I believed it, I experienced those beliefs in my reality. I know there are many people with similar

“Facts of Life”.

I dropped 60 pounds and kept it off since May 2010 – 30 pounds were simply from changing how I looked at Life…I was 233 pounds of pure anger, sadness and insecurity.

I healed from Sleep Apnea – I don’t miss sleeping with a mask on my face and sounding like “Darth Vader all night. 

I healed from 30 years of numerous food allergies – I can eat anything now, and I pretty much do.

Through understanding the Human body, I learned that FAT has very less to do with what we eat and has more to do with Stress and the flow of Life.

How we see life determines how our body flows and behaves. Stress is created by conflicting ideas we have about life.

Bottom Line…Less stress = less fat. I should call it the “Chill out Diet”.

So, here I am… I’ve decided to remind and encourage people to live their best lives; See how simple and enjoyable life really is.

I want you to know, YOU…are AWESOME. We all just need a reminder sometime.

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One response to “Benny’s Story

  1. Benny Howes,

    I remember you from high school (our freshman basketball team went 22-0), and what I remember is not liking you. Now none of this was of your doing, so I don’t want you to feel as though you are in any way responsible for any negative experiences I may have had. I was an asshole who was dealing with many of the insecurities in which kids of that age deal with. I was new to the area, felt uncomfortable in the only area in which I had previously excelled (basketball), mainly due to the familiarity that the rest of the team had with each other, and I failed to handle that in a mature fashion. I later met and married my high school sweetheart, and I am happy to report that 15 years later we still share the love. We have 2 beautiful children, Brandon and Claire, ages 4 and 1, but our life hasn’t been without its share of sorrow. 5 years ago our daughter Olivia was born with polycystic kidney disease, severe microcephaly, an abdominal obstruction, and a series of metabolic disorders that were each potentially deadly in their own right. She fought through 6 major surgeries before she reached 6lbs., and we unfortunately lost her to renal failure at 3 months of age. She never came home from the hospital, but it was there that we witnessed true heroism and courage. From the doctors, nurses, and even the other parents who were wondering if they would ever get to bring their babies home. As you can imagine, the pain of losing a child is not quantifiable, and without my wife by my side I literally would not have survived it. It still hurts so much that tears are falling as I type this. To hear the sound a mother makes when her child gasps her last breath in her arms is a sound not easily forgotten. I admire my wife’s strength during that time. Myself on the other hand, well, I was a wreck. Depressed isn’t a strong enough word, and I fought counseling with every inch of my being. Only when my son came along, and then my second daughter, did I feel life could be worth living. I was only living to grieve for my daughter, and any laughter or fleeting moment of joy was met with a crushing guilt. Much like you I got fat. I’m still fat, but that is something that takes the one thing I’ve never had an abundance of. Discipline! I love to eat, and I love to be lazy. Bad combo, but I’ll get there. I just really wanted to say that from someone who really never thought much of you, my opinion now couldn’t be any more different. Your story is amazing and inspirational. Keep up what you’re doing, so people like me can continue to do what we’re doing.

    Yours in peace,
    Justin Gee
    Milwaukie class of ’92

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