Age 18 came around, It was time to put my plan into action to find my Birth Parents. I called the Hospital hoping they could simply look at the records of all the babies that were born On November 5th, 1974 and we could make quick work of it. so when I called, I quickly learned of some rule called ‘HIPAA’. For those that aren’t aware of it, it basically says that My Mom’s Medical Records were Private and without me knowing My Biological last name… I wasn’t getting any information from the Hospital.
That wasn’t the only wrench thrown into my search though. I was really thrown for a loop when the woman working in the records department told me I needed to by 21 years of age. Twenty One? what do you mean twenty one? I was told eighteen. She convinced me that information was wrong… I swear there was some cosmic conspiracy against me, because the truth was, I only needed to be eighteen years old. But I didn’t find that out until three years later when I called back… I should have gotten a second opinion. First lesson… don’t take no for an answer and if it doesn’t sound right, call someone else.
So now I’m Twenty One years old and ready to take another shot at this, I was so excited that my life would change that day. Everything I had ever wanted is on the other end of this phone call and with God on my side, I was gonna get it.
This time, I spoke with a woman and told her my story about calling when I was eighteen, how I’ve patiently been waiting for the last three years and now I was ready to find my Birth Mother. This woman’s voice immediately turned apologetic and I felt my heart sinking as she said…’I’m so sorry dear, we only keep those records for 20 years…’
O.K. I was Pissed…First, I was too early, now I’m too late?. What now?… I think I felt lied to, being given the wrong information, Three years past by and I was no closer than when I started.
The only way for me to find what I needed was to somehow come up with my Mom’s Name. I had no clue how that would happen? I think hopelessness tried to set in. Since Marty’s babysitter told me how easy it was for her, I never imagined having it be so frustrating. I don’t remember how long it took me to get over it but, Soon I was reminded it would happen the same way I always believed it would… I didn’t know how or when, but I knew it would.
Let it go… I thought. God will do it, in God’s Timing.
Diana and I did what we could, we placed my name on quite a few adoption registries and we even drove the three hours to Bremerton to literally knock on doors looking for anyone that may have known about my Mom and her pregnancy back then. We were looking for the needle in the haystack.
I’ll tell you what I learned… if it’s not the right time, nothing you do will get you the results you want, You’ll just waste your gas on yearning and frustration. This can drive a person bonkers… at least it did me. But… when the time is right, when you are truly in a place to handle what comes next, even the needle in the haystack can’t be hidden from you.
This was really hard on me… How much longer could I wait? How will I find my Mom’s name?